May contain artificial emotions and emetics

"Shit, still in Saigon"

Stumbled upon this while checking out what the Guild of Pretentious Hipsters from Brooklyn -media are into nowadays. It's not fair to judge a band by just one single track. Usually. But Quiet Little Voices just reveals We Were Promised Jetpacks to be so evidently crappy that I do not, I definitely NOT want to hear another song from the group ever again.

A good four minutes of mind melting pathos and angst. Remember Carlos the Jackal? Well he was an amateur compared to these professional assassins, experts in the field of suffocating the listener with their emotional overload which leaves absolutely no room for imagination or interpretation (let me try, umm, my interpretation is that these guys are sad, depressed... or maybe hungry?). No diversity, no ambiguity, just a crap load of overflowing expression of "pain". Fake as hell.

Why is it that we are living in a culture of exaggeration? Why is it that Nick Drake did the same thing with just a guitar, a capo, and a few sparse anxiousness lacking reciting whispers? Why is it that he made you feel empathy without moaning in pain? Why is it that he didn't throw that big cream puff of his ego straight at your face leaving your eyelids so sticky that you were unable to recognize who was it from the band being in such tremendous emotional misery that he had to comfort himself by humping you at backstage? Why is it that the actually sad guys kill themselves, not in Paris in a summer rain, but after purchasing a pack of cereals and listening an Iggy Pop record?

So, why does this band sound so familiar? Artificial feelings and overdramatization so that your audience won't miss a thing, since they've paid 30 bucks for that Vegas show ticket, right? Yeah! I restate, We Were Promised Jetpacks are not assassins, they are nothing but errand boys, delivering a message. From Celine Dion. In the manner of not shooting the messenger I might as well give them another chance one fine day.

We Were Promised Jetpacks: Quiet Little Voices
(Fatcat, 2009)
Track rating: 2.0/10

Possible forthcoming record rating: I'd like to have a t-shirt instead, it's more convenient and, chance is, enough ironic someday to be worn in company of hipsters with t-shirts slightly over the top being enough ironic. Man, It's a one delicate issue. Ain't that a drag?