Shine on Motherfucker

Wavves calls a new generation of West Coast surfer emo defeatists to unite

Why is it that the record industry thinks a bunch of Californian fakesters is what we are craving for, year after year? Beach bums without a tan, slackers who never have enough slack since they are busy recording lo-fi tapes in their daddy's garage (see, no tan).

The latest craze is Wawves. According to an established magazine the Wawwes case is pretty sad; he used to work in a record store but couldn't handle the jocks bullying him. So now he's moved back to his parents, and being bullied by his younger brother's friends who stole Wave's precious drum kit. So he started making music about how sob sob lonely he is because at the record store he was at least able to discuss about some old skool hip hop records with the nerdy customers.

Now aren't we glad that Wawes got a record deal and was able to cut a critically acclaimed album to heal his pressure cooker of an ego? Wrong. Because of this we have to keep listening, if not the record, but the Pitchfork kids namedropping the guy - for maybe even four months or so. Crap.

Why is he doing this? Writing your own hip hop blog and getting virtual credit doesn't make you a better person. Getting a gazillion last.fm plays from other surfer emo kids doesn't make you a better person. "Finding your place" among a shitty subculture is the same thing as hiding in the dark of your daddy's garage for the rest of your life. All because you couldn't handle with a couple of asshole jocks? Stop gathering a worthless congregation of summer goths whose only revolution is to dwell in their own misery. Your grandpa who died in Korea would despise everything you are. Down with being a pussy - walk back to that Sam Goody's shithole and kick some ass. Rise and shine!

By the way; the record itself is not that bad at all. Then again, one more thing that makes me feel uncanny is the guy's pseudonym. Anyone even slightly illiterate would typo it all the time. You don't sell records with a name like Wavvves. It sounds like a 15 year old hipster trying to lolspeak during a Jell-O Shots and Vicodin induced toilet hug. I get disgusted.

Wavves: S/T
(Woodsist 2008)
Record rating: 7.0/10